Silly Status

" Lucky for you, mirrors can’t laugh out loud. "
" Time is precious. Waste it wisely. "
" If something’s not going right, try left. "
" About to dance my feet silly! "
" Smile while you still have teeth. "
" I love my bed, but I’d rather be in yours. "
" Why bother reading books? We have Eminem; he can read a whole story in 4 minutes. "
" I tried being awesome today, but I was just so tired from being awesome yesterday. "
" Wife: I’m pregnant, what do you want it to be? Husband: A joke. "
" Everyone is normal until you add them as your Facebook friend. "
" Relationship Status: COMING SOON "
" You can’t be late until you show up. "
" Back in 5 minutes (If not, read this status again). "